


Dear Zayn, I'm Sorry

by Kaibatrash



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 05:32:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14687519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaibatrash/pseuds/Kaibatrash





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Zayn,

I'm sorry.

Love always,

Niall.


	2. From the Beginning

15th May 2020

Dear Zayn,

I'm sorry.

Supposedly, it is never too late to apologise, but I fear I have missed my opportunity.

Apparently, keeping a journal and writing out your feelings is one of the steps to getting over someone you love, according to Wikihow anyway. Wikihow suggests it is one of the best ways to confess feelings without telling anyone. So, here I am, writing a journal. Confessing all the things I cannot admit to the people around me, for fear they would not understand. How could they understand? They have not lost and loved the way I have. They could never understand.

Wikihow is useful for many things. But not for this. Keeping a journal of our memories will not bring you back to me. It will not bring you back to life.

Love always,

Niall.

*******************************************************************************************

16th May 2020

Dear Zayn,

I'm sorry.

Apologies will not change the past, but I hope it will ease the pain of the future.

I know I said yesterday that this will not bring you back to life, but I cannot stop in the hopes that it will keep your memory alive instead. It has been two years since you left me, left this life, and still I cannot bear to believe that it is the end of your story. But, as the Eleventh Doctor once said, "we're all stories in the end". So here I am, telling ours, and making sure it is a good one. To do so, I did what every other millennial is doing at the moment; I created a blog.

DearZaynImSorry.wordpress.com

The world deserves to know about you Zayn, and you deserve to be remembered. So here it is, our story, from the very beginning.

Love always,

Niall.

*******************************************************************************************

18th May 2020

Dear Zayn,

I'm sorry.

You should be here to tell our story with me.

I know a few days have passed, but I did not realise how hard it would be to put our love into writing. But I am determined to do it. It is the least I could do, in return for all you have done for me.

 

Our story begins in 2016. We were only children when we met, at only 17 years old we thought we could take on the world. It all started when I got left to start school in the prestigious boarding school Pencey Prep, renamed to match the school in J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. They always were trying to stay relevant. So, let's just take it from there......

*********************************************************************************************

 

 

On the morning Niall was to leave Mullingar, he sat solemnly in his new room. Staring at the blank blue walls, which seemed to be staring back at him, he wished he had the time to decorate his room before he left for London. A box full of his favourite My Chemical Romance posters sat at the end of his bed, begging to be placed on the wall. They, however, must wait until he returned from his first semester of school. He and his mother had moved houses recently as the four bedroomed house was far too large for just the two of them.

His phone chimed from beside him, playing the ringtone he made with his best friend Sean the previous week. "Help! Help! It's mini me stuck in your phone! Help me! Help me! I can't get out!" Grinning, he answered the phone to his best friend.

"Hello?" Niall spoke.

"You took your time answering the phone lad, what were you doing?", Sean's voice drifted down the phone.

"Not sure you want to know mate," Niall laughed down the phone.

"TMI lad, did not need to know that. Anyway, Nandos?"

"Of course, see you in a few."

Hanging up the phone, Niall quickly changed into a pair of black jeans and grabbed his favourite hoodie before heading downstairs. He was greeted by his mother, smiling at him with tears in her eyes.

"Be sure to be back before 1pm Niall, you don't want to miss the bus to the airport", Maura spoke gently, her voice breaking at the thought of her youngest child leaving her so soon.

"Don't worry mam, I'll be home soon", Niall replied, knowing he meant both today and from school.

 

Niall hugged his mother and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before heading out the door and walking to Nandos to say goodbye to his best friend.

 

 

Walking into Nandos, the first thing Niall heard was "Where the heck were you?! I was waiting for a whole 5 minutes!" Niall couldn't help but laugh.

 

"What's so funny Niall?! I'm being dead serious!" Sean said in an annoyed tone, staring Niall down as he spoke.

 

"It's just you sound so much like a girl waiting for a boyfriend!" Niall managed to stutter out between laughs. Sean's face fell for a minute before he glared at him once again.

 

"Well sor-ry, for wanting to spend as much time as I can with my best mate before he leaves for London!"

 

Niall stopped laughing almost immediately and started to think. Did he really want to leave everything he had here behind for a scholarship?

 

"Yes, yes you do", Sean replied nodding his head. Niall looked at him weirdly.

 

"Can you read minds or something mate?" Niall asked him.

 

"DUHH! Of course, I can Nialler! Where have you been anyway!" He replied in a sarcastic tone. "Obviously not Niall! God! Sometimes you just live up to the blonde hair!" He said once he saw Niall's shocked face.

 

"I'm confused", Niall told him, and Sean literally face palmed himself in the middle of the restaurant.

 

"You were thinking aloud Blondie Bear!" Sean said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

"Well duh! I obviously knew that! God Sean! Why did you act like I didn't!" Sean just shook his head at his best friend's childish behaviour.

 

Once they had finished their food, Sean and Niall headed back to Niall's house, to spend the last few hours of their summer holidays together. After all, they decided they wanted to bake a farewell cake; only neither knew how to bake.

 

One hour later, Maura was hosing them down in the back garden, washing away the flour and eggs from their hair and clothes. Niall automatically blamed Sean, who didn't know how to use the electric mixer, how else would more cake batter end up on them than in the cake tins? Sean, however, blamed Niall for their current predicament. After all, it was Niall's electric mixer, so he must have rigged it. Regardless of who's fault it was, Maura ensured both boys cleaned the kitchen until there was no cake batter left on the walls and counters.

 

Before long, it was time to leave for the airport, and leave Ireland.

************************************************************************************

 

 

I decided to start from the very beginning Zayn. The morning I left for England was one of the best and worst mornings of my life. It was the beginning of a new life, but it was also the end of the life I had built at home. Leaving behind my family and friends was difficult, but it led me to you. Even though we didn't always get along you were always there for me, and you protected me while you were going through one of the hardest times of your life. For that, I will always be grateful.

Love always,

Niall.


End file.
